Breaking the Fourth Wall
by MasterMind 16X
Summary: After sleeping for so long, Aurora has developed the ability to break past the fourth wall and challenge the narrator. What does he do in response? Why, he teaches her a lesson, of course! WARNING: Extreme ridiculousness!
1. Chapter 1

This is what I'm doing to stave off boredom. I'm writing what will very likely be a one-shot for Once Upon A Time. The premise of this story is that Aurora, after having been asleep for so long, has developed the power to approach and break the fourth wall. For those of you who have no idea what the fourth wall is, it's basically an imaginary "wall" that prevents characters in TV, movies, books, video games, etc from knowing that they're in a show/move/book/video game/etc. Breaking the fourth wall means that they acknowledge either the author/narrator, the audience, or that they're in a whatever medium they're in.

**Breaking the Fourth Wall**

Aurora felt Phillip's lips touch hers as she was awakened from her slumber. She sat up and saw her beloved prince. She grabbed him and pulled him in for a kiss. Just seconds before her lips touched his, she sneezed. Phillip leaned back, somewhat disgusted that Aurora had sneezed all over his face. "Yuck," Phillip said. Upon seeing his beloved's saddened face, he added "And bless you."

Aurora giggled a bit, glad that she hadn't grossed Phillip out too much. "Sorry, I guess after being asleep for so long I got a bit dusty," she said.

Phillip grabbed the hand of his beloved and- "Do you hear that?" Aurora suddenly asked.

"Hear what?" Phillip asked.

"That voice. Someone's speaking and describing everything we're doing. Do you really not hear that?" Aurora said. Wait a minute, Aurora can hear me? How is it she can hear the narrator? I specifically remember erecting a rather powerful fourth wall around here, let me see, where is it? Aha! Hear it is. Yep, this fourth wall is still in order, and it still seems to be functioning properly. Where did she get the power to see through it?

"Okay, how can you not hear that voice?" Aurora asked. "He's so loud!" Listen up, princess, I don't know what's going on, but for some reason you can see past the fourth wall. But the others, they can't. They can't hear me, only you can. If you keep this up, they'll probably think you've gone crazy. In fact, I think I'll make it so they do.

"You can't do that!" Aurora yelled.

Phillip looked at her as if she'd gone crazy. "Uh, Aurora, are you okay? There is no voice, and there's no one around but us three," Phillip said.

"How are you doing that?" Aurora shouted to the sky. Simple, really. I'm the narrator, and I have absolute power and control over everything in this world. I make Maleficent and Rumpelstiltskin look powerless. I can even control you. Watch.

Aurora was about to say something when her nose began to tickle. Though she tried to fight it, she felt a sneeze building up. When she could fight it no more, she released the sneeze. "Why did you make me do that?" Aurora asked. "And why do you keep saying that I'm asking this? I think it's pretty obvious I posed the question!" Because if I didn't then the readers would have no idea what was going on. Since you've already broken the fourth wall, they're probably already confused enough as it is. As for the sneeze, I figured it was a far more humane way to show my power than having you arms fall off. Now, could we please get on with the story?

"No, I'm not cooperating with some tyrant!" Aurora shouted. Well, then. Perhaps Phillip and Mulan need to be attacked by a wraith? Maybe that would get you to cooperate.

"Wait, what?" Aurora started. Before the narrator could answer, however, a large, robed figure arose from the ground and dove straight at Phillip. Phillip screamed a girly scream and ducked.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, Mr. Narrator! Phillip is not some sissy who screams when attacked!" Aurora said. Yeah, I know. I just figured I'd show my power again by turning your beloved into a cowardly wimp.

The wraith grabbed Phillip by the neck and leaned towards his face. Several wisps could be seen coming from Phillip's face. The wisps stopped flowing and the wraith dropped Phillip. The wraith grabbed Mulan, who was frozen helplessly with fear. The wraith began sucking white wisps from her face as well.

"Oh, no you don't!" Aurora yelled. Aurora tried to help Mulan, but tripped over her dress and fell face first in the dirt.

"Ow!" Aurora groaned. "Really?" Hey, you tried to mess up what I was doing. I told you, I have absolute power. Would you rather I gave you a sneezing fit instead?

"No, I'm already down here, might as well keep it that way," Aurora said, resigned. So, do you finally admit to my omnipotence and are you willing to cooperate?

"No! And by the way, while you were busy, the wraith seems to have finished with Mulan. Are you going to kill me, too?" Aurora asked. It's tempting. But I'll play nice and let you live. The wraith disappeared into the earth, it's mission complete. Aurora, despite her better judgment did what most sane people would never dare to do. She walked to where the wraith had disappeared.

"Honestly, was that sane person thing really necessary?" Aurora asked. No, but I quite enjoyed it.

Where the wraith had disappeared were two women, one with long blonde hair and another with short black hair. Both women were dressed very, very strangely.

…

…

…

"Well, what happens now?" Aurora asked, impatiently. Nothing. I'm done!

"Are you kidding me?" Aurora asked. Nope, this story ends here. If the audience for whatever reason actually likes this story you've managed to mess up so badly, I might decide to give you a sequel. But, after your horrible display I doubt they'll want anything more to do with this concept.

"No, audience, whoever and whatever that is, please make this evil narrator write something else! Otherwise, I'll have nothing to do! I'll be bored out of my mind! Come one, help a girl out!" Aurora pleaded. Yeah, no pressure. She's not going anywhere, and I'm sure you're sick of her, anyway. There's no need to ask for more.

Author's Note (NOT part of this story):

This story is a one shot. Like I wrote earlier, if enough crazy people decide they want more of this ridiculous nonsense, then I'll write more ridiculous nonsense. But know this: I do NOT normally write like this, and as far as writing goes, this one was pretty awful. I know this, I did that on purpose. So, please don't post any nasty reviews about how horrible this was, I know that it was bad. And I swear, I can write well. I just didn't. The only reason I wrote this was because I just beat Cthulhu Saves the World and the extra story Cthulhu's Angels. The complete and utter lack of a fourth wall in that game made me want to write a story that lacked a fourth wall. I like Once Upon A Time, so I figured why not?

And just for the record, I don't hate Aurora. She's actually one of my favorite characters. I just picked her because I feel that FanFiction needs more humor genre Aurora stories. Though, I guess a good one would have been better. Oh well.


	2. Chapter 2

… Well, oddly enough this story got a follower, and two reviews. From what FanFiction allows me to see (AKA EVERYTHING!) the follower was NOT the person who said that they'd read more of this craziness if I wrote more. So, unless my math is wrong, that means there are two people that would read more of this chaos. So, what do I do? I write more!

Chapter 2 (I guess, since this story doesn't have much as far as a plot goes):

Well, Aurora, it's your lucky day. "Huh, what?" Aurora said groggily as she was startled awake by the narrator's beautiful, velvety voice.

"Yeah, NOT!" Aurora shouted. Hey, don't forget, I control everything. Including what you get to eat for breakfast. And whether you live or die.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want? I thought you were done with me," Aurora said. I was. But the audience wasn't. So, thanks to them, you get to do something other than sleep. How can you sleep, anyway? You just spent over 28 years sleeping.

"I had nothing better to do, thanks to you!" Aurora shouted. True. Still, you could have found something more productive to do. Sleeping. They called you Sleeping Beauty before the curse, didn't they?

"No! They did not! I slept a perfectly acceptable amount of time before then!" Aurora shouted. So, like sixteen hours a day?

"No! The standard eight hours!" Aurora shouted. Please, stop shouting. I can hear you perfectly fine without all the yelling.

"Well, then I'm going to keep shouting because you are getting on my last nerve!" Aurora screamed. You do realize that I have absolute power, right? If I wanted to, I could shut you up in a moment's notice.

"I dare you to try," Aurora said. Alright, I will. Aurora opened her mouth the speak, but found she couldn't utter a sound. Finally, some peace and quiet. So, how do you like eating old sardines?

Aurora didn't say anything, as the amazingly handsome narrator had silenced her. She did, however, get a look of horror on her face. The narrator decided that meant she wanted some sardines. Aurora saw a can of sardines laying at the feet of one of the women that had been unconscious on the ground for the entire duration of this story. Aurora picked up the can and began eating the sardines, desperately trying not to vomit. Tears sprang to her eyes at the foul taste of the sardines that were very likely expired.

The blonde chick (Aurora glared at the sky, hoping the narrator got the message), okay woman woke up. She looked at Aurora as she was eating her sardines. "Hey, are those my sardines?" the woman asked.

Aurora, through her tears, nodded. "Why are you eating them?" the woman asked.

Aurora pointed at the sky, where she thought the narrator was. She glared at the sky. Oh, alright, I'll let you talk. Aurora felt her voice return to her. She opened her mouth and croaked like a frog. She turned red and glared at the sky. Oh, you want to talk like a person? I suppose I'll let you talk. Just remember, I have all the power.

Aurora opened her mouth and said "Hello."

The blonde woman looked at her. "Hi? You ate my sardines and all you have to say is hi?" she asked.

"I was under the control of an evil narrator! He has absolute power and for whatever reason bears some kind of grudge against me," Aurora explained.

The woman looked at Aurora as if she were crazy. "Uh huh. Who are you?" she asked.

"My name's Aurora. I am, or rather, I was the princess of this castle," Aurora said. Yeah, now you're the princess of a bunch of ruins. Princess of Garbage, that's you. Aurora growled.

"My name's Emma," the woman said. "And she's," Emma gestured to the dark haired woman "my mom, Snow White."

"Wait, the Snow White? The one who defeated the Evil Queen?" Aurora asked. Aurora looked at Snow. "How is she your mom? She doesn't look like she's much older than you are."

"Long story," Emma said. This conversation is boring me. I think I'll just fast forward past all of this nonsense and get to something more interesting.

"Wait, what?" Aurora asked.

"Who are you talking to?" Emma asked.

"The evil narrator!" Aurora replied. Well, fast forward means I'm going to skip a bunch of stuff and start narrating something more interesting. So, to keep the audience with us, I'm going to go to the part where it's night and you're in the woods with Emma and Snow. You and Snow are all acquainted now and they decided to keep you along. Got it?

"What? No," Aurora said. Bummer, I'm fast forwarding!

_Fast forward..._

_Fast forward..._

_Fast forward..._

And here we are. Night time, it's dark, there's a roaring fire, and, what else? Oh, yeah, that's right! You got poison ivy. "Ow!" Aurora yelled. "Hey? Why'd you do that?"

"Who is she talking to?" Snow whispered to Emma.

"Some omnipotent narrator who controls everything," Emma said.

"And you believe that?" Snow asked.

"No. Not even kind of," Emma said.

Well, Rory, can I call you Rory? "No!" Aurora replied.

Well, why not? I feel like we've really gotten to know you. "Don't call me that!" Aurora yelled. I suppose I owe you a little. Alright, you can be Aurora. For now.

What was I doing? "Why did you give me poison ivy?" Aurora asked. Oh, yeah. Because you were annoying me before. Enjoy the itch.

"What are you going to do now?" Aurora asked. Nothing. I'm done for now. Enjoy your break. It may be everlasting.

Author's Note:

Here's more. I have absolutely no idea how to extend this story any further so, unless I get some ideas, this is probably the end of the story.

On another note, I have become slightly enamored with Sarah Bolger, the beautiful and talented actress who plays Aurora. If anyone knows how to somehow get her attention, be it Twitter or Facebook or some other social media or some other method, and would like to share it with me, I'd really appreciate it. I would very much like to have a conversation with her, even if it is via social media. Though I kind of doubt anyone will have anything for me.


	3. Chapter 3

You have asked for more ridiculous nonsense, so I say bring it! Here is the next chapter of this, uh, compilation of words. And by the way, I went ahead and created a beta test kind of Twitter account for anyone who wants to follow me (the writer). My user name thing is MasterMind16X. This is NOT my personal account, I used a pseudonym from my Charmed FanFic, Jerome Matthews. If anyone wants to try the beta, I might post stuff about my stories (including this random word compilation FanFiction has so graciously labeled as a story).

Compilation of nonsense part 3:

It was the dead of night. Emma and Snow were sound asleep. Aurora wasn't. She was on "guard duty," which really consisted little more of huddling in the dark and whimpering quietly to herself, hoping nothing comes. "Excuse me? I was NOT whimpering until you made me!" Aurora shouted. Oh, hush girl. You're going to wake Snow and Emma.

"Not if you don't want them awake," Aurora snapped. Oh, you catch on quickly. Good job, here's a cookie. A cookie randomly fell from the sky into Aurora's lap. She picked up the cookie and, after tentatively sniffing the cookie, ate it. It was delicious, unlike anything she had ever tasted before. Granted, the last thing she had eaten was a can of old sardines, so compared to that an oatmeal cookie probably tasted like ambrosia.

"Those sardines were horrible," Aurora said. Yep. And there are plenty more of those if you don't behave yourself. Aurora shuddered from fear. And the cold. She wasn't exactly dressed for, well, anything even remotely outside. Other than posing. Her outfit was a great posing outfit.

"Are you done yet?" Aurora asked, somewhat embarrassed.

"I was going for more of an annoyed tone, Mr. Narrator," Aurora said. Bummer. You got embarrassed. Be glad something worse didn't happen. I could have made it worse, you know.

"Yeah, I know," Aurora said. Now, go to sleep. I'm going on a lunch break and won't be able to make anything happen, so you'll be safe. Until I get back.

"I don't want to go to sleep," Aurora said. Well, you're going to. Get over it. Aurora yawned and quickly fell asleep, leaving the narrator free to go and eat his lunch. It was a sandwich. Be jealous.

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

_Time passes..._

The narrator had returned from his lunch break. Aurora was still asleep, since the narrator had been preoccupied. Aurora felt the narrator's presence and jolted awake. "Hey!" she shouted. Hello. How did you sleep?

"You made me sleep!" Aurora shouted angrily. "Something could have happened!" Technically, no, nothing could have happened because I was eating a sandwich. It was delicious, by the way. Melted cheese with nice, flavorful lunch meats.

Aurora's stomach growled. "Stop that! You're making me hungry!" Aurora said. That was the point. Now, you want to eat. And the only thing to eat around here is that old shoe. Want it?

Aurora's face adopted a look of horror. "No, no, that's perfectly okay!" she said hastily. You sure? Aurora nodded her head. Very well, suit yourself. I'll be right back. There's leftover cake.

Initiating auto narrator. Auto narrator allows for continuation of story without need for narrator's presence. Auto narrator is possible because of Princess Aurora. She has the power to see past the fourth wall, and as a result is not bound by the normal laws of narration. Princess Aurora has not yet developed the power to hear the auto narrator, or to completely resist the narrator's influence, but she can carry the story without him. Auto narrator is here only so audience readers are not completely confused. At least, not beyond the normal levels of confusion to be expected from this.

Now continuing story telling: Aurora had heard the narrator's last comment, and was desperately foraging for food before he came back and made her eat that shoe. She successfully found a pear tree. She grabbed all the pears she could and quickly began eating them. She wanted to get as much actual food in her before the narrator came back and ruined it all. Aurora paused and thought for a moment. The last few things the narrator had made her do seemed almost, weak. She felt like she could have resisted if she had fought a little harder. Was his power weakening? Or was her power growing? And why did she have this power? Aurora sensed the narrator was about to return. She quickly hid the pears and returned to where she was before, pretending to be asleep.

Auto narrator disengaged.

Hey, Aurora! Wake up! Aurora jolted awake, again, before groaning loudly. "Why do you feel the need to do that?" she asked. Why? Because it is hilarious. And a ton of fun. Believe me when I say that torturing you is literally the highlight of my day.

"Oh, great," Aurora groaned. Now, I'm going to stop all of this nice stuff because I'm worried the audience will try and ship us together.

"They'll try to do what?" Aurora asked. Ship us together. Make us fall in love. The very thought of it makes me sick to my stomach, personally, but for you I imagine that it'd be a wonderful experience. Getting to love someone with power, rather than than sissy Phillip.

"Excuse me? Phillip was definitely NOT a sissy! You made him like that!" Aurora shouted. "And I'd rather die than fall for you!" The feeling is mutual, my dear. The feeling is mutual. And Phillip was whatever I made him to be. Since I made him to be a sissy, he became a sissy. And he was a sissy. Who didn't like germs. Even from his true love. Which, when you think about it, is kind of weird. He didn't think twice when it came to kissing you, but he recoils in disgust when you sneezed on him. He must have been a complicated man. Or you're a messy sneezer. Or maybe both.

"Please just stop now," Aurora asked, turning red in embarrassment. Or maybe it was shame. Wait, are those synonyms? They might be. So, she was turning red in both embarrassment AND shame. There we go, now it doesn't matter if they're synonyms.

"You're crazy," Aurora said. Yes, my dear, yes I am.

"Why are you rambling so much?" Aurora asked. Because I am employing a tactic of filling. That's when writers add a bunch of either fluffy details or some random, irrelevant thing to their stories. I chose to ramble in the form of fillage. Which I now declare to be a word. Fillage is our newest word, and our newest word it shall be!

"So, while you make a filler," Aurora said. Fillage.

"Okay, fine, fillage, what do I do?" Aurora asked. Well, you could eat that shoe. I'm done writing, so nothing's going to happen now. Goodbye for now! And beg the reviewers to ask for more, otherwise you'll be stuck here, forever!

"I am not begging!" Aurora said, adamantly. Okay, suit yourself. Bye!

Author's Note:

Yeah, this nonsense needs some vague semblance of a plot. Otherwise, I don't really have anything to write. Anyone want to supply plots? I'll use them. Imagine me with a big "Will write for plots" sign. On the side of the road. Preferably talking to Sarah Bolger. Or Morgan Freeman. He's cool, too.


	4. Chapter 4

Yeah. This is more of the desired ridiculous nonsense. If anyone is at all interested in reading a humor story about Aurora that is considerable less ridiculous and has a fourth wall, check out Welcome to Storybrooke. It's considerably less ridiculous.

Section of chaotic nonsense number 4:

Hello, princess. "Oh, no. Why are you back?" Aurora asked.

Because I love you so much. Not really. The readers have requested more, therefore I shall give them more.

On another note, have you ever dated a pirate? "Um, no. I'm engaged to Phillip, remember?" Aurora replied.

Wait, you've only ever dated Phillip? "Yeah," Aurora said. That's pathetic.

"Excuse me? I love him!" Aurora snapped. But still, you haven't at least dated other people? I repeat; that's pathetic.

"And how many people have you dated?" Aurora asked. Princess, I am a FanFiction narrator and writer. What makes you think I could get a girl to date me?

"Make her. You said you control everything," Aurora said. I do. In this story. However, I exist outside of the story. I exist in a place known as the real world, and in the real world I don't have absolute power.

"So, you've never dated anyone? At least I've dated someone," Aurora said. Shut up. I can drop random objects on your head if I so desire.

Aurora stopped talking. Good, you've learned your place. Now, you are going to date a pirate. "Excuse me?" Aurora asked. You heard me. You're going to date a pirate. Fans have requested that I ship you with Captain Hook. Why, I have no idea. But I respect my fans, and I shall write them the shipping they desire.

"Uh, shipping?" Aurora asked. I seem to remember explaining this concept to you before.

"That doesn't mean I remember it," Aurora said. Fine. Be that way. A shipping is a pairing, like you and Phillip. Until Phillip died a horrible, sissy death.

"He was not a sissy!" Aurora said. Yes he was. I wrote him that way.

Aurora sighed. "What other weird words are you going to use?" she asked. Probably a ton. Here's one: genuphobia. It means the irrational fear of knees. As far as terms like shipping, none. I don't even know what most of those other terms mean. I barely know what a shipping is, and I don't know what most of the shippings are called.

"What do you mean by 'called?'" Aurora asked. Well, here's an example: you and Mulan are known as Sleeping Warrior, disturbing as I find that pairing, that's the only one I know of, other than Swan Thief and Rumbelle. The rest confuse me. Like Red Beauty. I honestly thought that was you and Red Riding Hood for a very long time.

"Wait, me and who now?" Aurora asked. Exactly. You two have never met, so why anyone would want to ship you two together was way beyond my level of understanding. Anyway, you and Captain Hook are a rather large shipping, though I don't know what the name of it is. Probably something like Sleeping Hook or Sleeping Pirate.

Anyway, you've led me off topic. I would like to request that you keep quiet for a while. I'm going to attempt to make things progress. Which is ridiculously difficult when you interrupt me.

"Fine, just please don't make me suffer too much," Aurora said. Scout's Honor. At least, not for a little while.

"What's a Scout?" Aurora asked. Seriously? You've never heard of the Boy Scouts of America? I guess not. There probably aren't any BSA Scout Troops in the Enchanted Forest. Well, think of them as noble, chivalrous knights. Like the ones that Snow White would hire, not like the ones Regina hired. Those guys were kind of evil. Look, I'll leave you in peace as long as you let me progress. When I'm done progressing, my promise is kept and the deal is fulfilled. Got it?

"Fine, fine, I'll keep quiet until you tell me you're done. Or until you make me miserable again," Aurora said. Agreed.

Snow and Emma knew that they needed to find a way back to Storybrooke. They decided to go to the castle where Snow and Charming had lived before. The magic cabinet that Emma was sent through might still have some magic left in it, and if Emma and Snow could somehow tap into that magic, they could find a way back home.

"Aurora, what will you do?" Snow asked. Aurora said nothing. Aurora, you can answer questions from Snow and Emma. You can talk to them all you want. You just need to leave me alone and not talk about me.

"I have no one," Aurora said. "Would you let me go with you?"

"Of course you can come," Snow replied.

"Um, Mary Margaret, can I talk to you for a second?" Emma asked. Mary Margaret agreed and the two walked a good distance away from Aurora, but close enough that they could still see her.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? Can we really afford to bring her along, too?" Emma asked.

"We can't just leave her, Emma. Look at her. She's all alone, and she's so young. We can't just leave her out here, alone, to die," Snow said.

Emma paused for a second. "You know, I hate it when you're right," she said.

Snow and Emma walked back over to Aurora. "Alright, you can come," Emma said.

Aurora sighed in relief. "Thank you," she said.

"Well, come one, let's go," Emma said.

"But, it's almost dark," Aurora said. "Shouldn't we make camp and wait until morning?"

"We've still got a couple hours of sunlight left," Emma said. "Let's not waste them."

Emma, Snow, and Aurora all hiked through the forest for a few hours. When the sun was almost down, Snow heard a the sound of a fight. She ran off in the direction of the sound. Emma and Aurora followed. Snow entered a clearing and saw a man, a pirate, fighting off an ogre. A huge, ugly, ogre. The man himself had short dark hair and a mustache. Snow watched him fight off the ogre. The only weapon he had was a hook in place of one of his hands.

Snow whistled to get the ogres attention. The ogre turned towards her and grunted. It began walking clumsily towards Snow. Snow knocked an arrow in her bow and shot the ogre in the eye. The ogre fell over, dead. "What was that?" Emma asked.

"An ogre. You have to shoot them in the eye to kill them," Snow said.

"How long has it been since you shot a bow?" Emma asked.

"28 years," Snow said. Emma was shocked into silence. The man walked to the small group and introduced himself.

"Hello, my name is Killian Jones, but most people call me Hook," the man, Hook, said.

"You're a pirate?" Aurora asked.

"What gave it away?" Hook asked with a grin.

"Yeah, we saved you. Now, if you don't mind, we have somewhere we need to be," Emma said.

"Really? Mind if I tag along? I have nowhere to go," Hook said.

Emma turned to Snow. "Can we afford to take any more stragglers?" she asked.

"We can't very well turn him away," Snow said.

"Why not?" Emma asked. "He, unlike Aurora, isn't a helpless girl. He's a pirate; he can more than take care of himself."

"We can't leave someone in these woods, alone, to be killed by ogres. We can't just abandon him, Emma," Snow said.

"Fine, we'll let him tag along," Emma said. "Hey, Hook!" Emma called. "You can tag along. Just try not to slow us down."

"Well, as a newcomer to this lovely party, might I suggest we make camp here? Your young companion looks about ready to drop dead on her feet," Hook said.

"Yeah, we'll make camp," Snow said.

The group made camp and prepared to sleep. Hey, Aurora.

Aurora groaned. "What?" she asked. I'm done progressing for now. You're free to talk to me all you want, because now I'm going to make you miserable.

Aurora groaned again. "What are you going to do to me?" she asked. You'll have to wait and see. I'm done with this section for now.

Author's Note:

You asked for ridiculous nonsense, I gave you ridiculous nonsense. If any of you want to read my other Once Upon A Time FanFiction, it's called Welcome to Storybrooke. Considerably less ridiculous nonsense, and the first chapter isn't very exciting yet, but I have plans for the story.


End file.
